What is it? This Happiness everyone is after? This blog post seems pretty useless already because you are not going to listen to me as I bully you to see the truth. The truth that happiness comes from within. Full stop.
It’s like a match. Thin wooden stick. Bulb of sulphur on top. When rubbed against a suitable surface or if placed within a naked flame from another lit match or the flame from a lighter. Lit or not, a match is a match. The match in this analogy is happiness. It exists inside you. And the ignition is when we come into contact with suitable surfaces , in other words people, things, situations, visuals, sounds and the infinite world that is stimuli. External objects, animate and inanimate, only add to or heighten the happiness that already exists within.
So we are never really unhappy in my view. We just choose to let things that may not be ideal to take over our entire view of things. We clump life together as one thing when science clearly shows us that we get a second closer to our death … well … every second. So life is made up of seconds, minutes, moments that we live through. And in each moment or collection of moments we experience things. Things that affect us positively and negatively.
Now this isn’t a self-help post on how to focus more on the positive things in life than the negative. I am on medication for exactly that. I am just asking you not to ignore the positive moments. Give each moment in life a chance. If you have two minutes to spare, look around and look for something beautiful. If you go to a shop and have a good customer experience – tell them. Enjoy a cold drink on a hot day.
Sounds too simple and unrealistic? Ok let me try this. Have you ever thought that you are just too demanding? A house. Car. Dream job. Dream husband. Two gorgeous children. Holiday every year. Exciting social life. Good body. Good hair. Great style. Great shoes. I can go on but you shouldn’t. These bars of success still have nothing to do with happiness so don’t be unhappy if you don’t have them. Let life win not the system. Challenge yourself to see beyond the bullshit. Your bullshit. You’re not happy, remember? Ask yourself, solemnly, “Do you want to fix it?” If the answer is no, well I have to think about that one. That’s a deeper issue. See as humans we are pre-disposed to self-preservation so to just let it waste away means that you can’t tune into your happiness – things or no things. People though., that’s where the difference comes in.
If you really want to pursue the happiness from within then you need to assess those around you for the same way fire can ignite that match, water can extinguish that flame. And the more that happens the more you become inclined to not look for that light which comes from external factors. I believe that we were all put on this earth as a community so a life of solitude was not the plan. But we can choose those we entangle our lives with and those who don’t ignite your happiness within could also be a source of negativity leading to challenging times.
We certainly have enough happiness within us for our survival and that of a few others but it really comes from within. Think of 7 billion matches. Lined up. Ready to be lit. That’s what global happiness would look like. So how do we start the ripple effect? With ourselves, of course. In every relationship in our lives we are so quick to point out the things that don’t make us happy. Ask yourself, what do you do to make YOU happy? If you had to judge you as a life partner for yourself, are you hitting the mark?
Start from there and assess your happiness. I am too. I think you’d find, as with everything, if you change your perspective, you’d get different answers.